Facebook Wars

I remember when Myspace hit the media. Design your own page, add your favorite music, choose pictures for your slideshow, and most importantly, strategically place your "top friends" by your most important BFF to your ex that you just want to keep tabs on. Yes, it was the place to be. Even movies had Myspace references.

Just as my Myspace life was becoming more exciting than my real one, I started to hear chatter about a social media "BETTER than Myspace." No. Way. It couldn't be. I laughed at people when they tried to explain "Facebook" to me. "What kind of name is that anyway?" As if Myspace was so original. But behind my mocking and scorning there was an underlying intrigue.

No one was home. I had to do it. I clicked a second window from my Myspace. Www.Facebook.com. Hmm...Not colorful. And where do you put the music and emo background? I pressed on. After registering, I was reeled in by my "Friends in common." Yes, these friends were already my Myspace friends, but it's like a whole new party now. Minus the punch. As I clicked on, I still wasn't completely sold on the idea.
I digressed. I felt as if I was graduating high school and moving into college with only a few "common friends." Networking? Career? Links? It was all so grown up. Could I handle this? Am I ready? There's only one way to find out.

I now cannot log out of Facebook. I am literally unable to click "X" or "Logout." Missing a status update or an uploaded picture is just not an option. But all of that aside, the most important reason......the stalking. Every girl with a Facebook stalks. Finding someone's page that is not private is like finding a bathing suit that makes you look amazing. Rare but priceless. Sometimes you can get so deep into it that you are now stalking the stalkee's sister's boyfriend.

Like every social aspect of humanity, there are categories. Facebook is full of them.
Let's talk about those who are fb lame. "Just sat down on the couch." C'mon, people. Give me something I can use! At least spice it up a little with something like "This couch is to me as Obama is to change." You get it. Honestly, it doesn't matter because if you give me vanilla, you get hidden.

Then there are the ones who use TMI. "I just woke up with this rash on my butt." And, mother's, you are not excluded from this category. "Little Johnnie's poo is getting harder, finally." Gross! Stop! I can almost guarantee that none of your friend's saw that post because you are on everyone's "don't care" list.

And, finally, those who are not familiar with the English language. For the love of Pete, Webster worked way too hard for you people not to take advantage. Www.Dictionary.com. I know that some get in a hurry and don't really care to fix it but when you're using "exited" for "excited."?? I mean, did you leave or were you happy? See?

But no matter what category you find yourself in, or which social media you choose, we are all somehow linked together in this mad world. And as for my Myspace goes, I can't even remember my password. Touche, Facebook, touche.